


Allrianne Radio

by she_is_rysn



Category: Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn - Brandon Sanderson, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Oathbringer spoilers, Warbreaker Spoilers, just a touch of Crit Role, talk radio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 02:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14149614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/she_is_rysn/pseuds/she_is_rysn
Summary: Allrianne hosts a talk radio show on Scadrial.  Dalinar is on as her guest.inspired by the March Cosmere Challenge: crack fic! This was fun!





	Allrianne Radio

**Author's Note:**

  * For [charjo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjo/gifts).



> For some reason, Dalinar's voice came out sounding like Caleb Widogast in my head when I wrote this. Use that information as you please.

ALLRIANNE: Hey hey hey, you’re listening to Allrianne Radio - Allrianne, All the Time

Quick reminder that I can’t Riot you over the airwaves, so you’re just that excited to hear my voice! 

[Sound Effect: Crowd going “Awwwww”]

It’s pretty ashy out there today, so make sure you do whatever you do about that. And that’s the weather. 

I have with me today a pretty special guest, fresh from the far reaches of Roshar. He’s promoting his new book, Oathbringer, and boy is it something! I don’t know what exactly, because I can’t read those scribbles, but anyway let’s welcome Dalinar Kholin to the show!

[Sound Effect: Fog horn? For some reason?]

DALINAR: Thank you for having me.

[Sound Effect: Audience cheering]

ALLRIANNE: So Dal, can I call you Dal?

DALINAR: No -

ALLRIANNE: Dally? Daliesin Jaffe?

DALINAR: Dalinar is fine,

ALLRIANNE: Dal it is. So Dal, you’ve had a pretty crazy few months, huh? Smashed a Perpendicularity into existence with your bare hands, fought a Shard, put together a lil memoir, busy busy guy. How do you do it?

DALINAR: Yes, it’s been a very busy time, and I could not have done it without my wonderful wife Navani, she was --

ALLRIANNE: Well isn’t that the sweetest thing! I’m sure she misses you a whole lot while you’re out on this junket, I know it’s just TORTURE when work takes me away from my Breezy. I love you baby!

[Sound Effect: Smoochy Kiss]

DALINAR: I wouldn’t say torture exactly --

ALLRIANNE: No, just absolute bone-crushing literal torture

DALINAR: It doesn’t sound like you’re talking about literal torture at all

ALLRIANNE: So tell us about this book!

DALINAR: Well, it’s a deep examination of my journey, and about the need for accountability in one’s own life--

ALLRIANNE: Oh yes, accountability is SO important. Breezy and I have a guy who takes care of that for us, name Dockson, just the most wonderful. He’s a MIRACLE worker.

DALINAR: I think you’re talking about an accountant, I mean holding yourself responsible for your past actions. It was an extremely difficult struggle coming to terms with who I’ve been versus who I want to be, and I really hope that my words --

[SOUND EFFECT: SCHOOL BELL]

ALLRIANNE: Welp, looks like we’re out of time! Dal, thank you SO MUCH for swinging by our little show, I’ve just had the best time chatting with you and I hope you make enough coins off this book to turn an Inquisitor to Swiss cheese, whatever that is!

DALINAR: Oh, we’re not trying to make money--

ALLRIANNE: Thanks for tuning in to Allrianne Radio - Allrianne, All the Time! Tune in tomorrow for a sitdown with everyone’s favorite Returned, Susebron! So much chattier now, love that guy. Until then...I am the one thing you can never kill. I am gossip! BYEEEEE


End file.
